


BuzzFeed Unsolved: Supernatural – The Mysterious Appearances of the Doctor

by burdenedwithgloriousfandoms



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: (briefly) - Freeform, Cows, Crossover, Dumbasses, Ghoulbois discord secret santa 2019, London, M/M, Pre-Slash, Thirteenth Doctor Era, discussions of probing, i guess, it wasn't gonna be shippy oops, its not an unsolved fic if you don't use the word 'wheeze' at least once, merry christmas y'all!!!, no beta we die like db cooper
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-17 21:47:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21966868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/burdenedwithgloriousfandoms/pseuds/burdenedwithgloriousfandoms
Summary: 'This week on BuzzFeed Unsolved, we will be investigating what is perhaps one of the UK's - and probably the rest of the world's - greatest and longest running mysteries... the Doctor.'Or: two dumbasses investigate the Doctor, don’t believe a word of it, and then proceed to sit in an empty field all night and yell at the sky for someone to abduct them.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Comments: 30
Kudos: 120





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [insufferable_fool](https://archiveofourown.org/users/insufferable_fool/gifts).



> merry christmas to Bee! this is probably 100% not what you were expecting, but I really hope you enjoy it. i'm so sorry for it being a bit late aaaaaaaaaaaaa

'Did you hear something?' Ryan turns to Shane, eyes almost comically wide. He points his camera skyward, the dark expanse above empty except for a few clouds, and then around at the deserted field they're sitting in.

'Nope.' Shane says, looking nonchalant, arms draped over the sides of his camping chair and long legs sprawled out in front of him.

'You sure?' He asks. 'Because I think I might have just heard-' he freezes 'oh shit, what the-'

**_ BuzzFeed Unsolved: Supernatural – The Mysterious Appearances of the Doctor _ **

'This week on BuzzFeed Unsolved, we will be investigating what is perhaps one of the UK's - and probably the rest of the world's - greatest and longest-running mysteries... the Doctor.'

Ryan, sitting at their usual desk, stops for a breath and Shane instantly butts in from beside him. 'Impressive. And who might this Doctor fellow be, exactly?'

He turns to glare at the taller man. 'I'm- I'm getting to that!

'As far back as caveman times, there are records in almost every ancient civilisation of a being called 'the Doctor'. He is said to take many different forms, usually a man, wear odd clothes, and be accompanied by companions who travel with him in a spaceship resembling a...' Ryan trails off, and Shane looks at him expectantly. '...A 1950s police phone box. From London. Which, coincidentally, is where most sightings of the Doctor occur.'

'Wait... a police box? I... what?'

'Yep.' Ryan says, and shows him a picture. 'And it's supposedly an alien spaceship. That probably time travels. And somehow fits as many as five or so people in it.'

The two of them make eye contact for a moment, and then burst out laughing.

_just – a… a big fuckin blue box_

_you’re minding your own stone age business, hunting some… uhhhhhhh, cows –_

_and some dude shows up in a big wooden blue box!_

_(wheeze)_

_those poor people_

_no but seriously, literally every sighting of this dude, every massive disaster or near-miss in human history, is accompanied by a blue police box_

_...especially anything to do with aliens_

_oh, now you're telling me it's a police box from outer space_

_1950s space London_

_I mean, I did refer to it as a spaceship –_

_…_

_hahahaha_

_oh, you just wait until you hear the rest of this..._

'As I said, almost every major civilisation and major event or disaster has some record of a visit from this blue box with one or more people travelling inside it. Some even worshipped them. Many famous historical figures mention the Doctor in their journals or works, such as Shakespeare, Charles Dickens, Agatha Christie, Winston Churchill, Vincent Van Gogh, Richard Nixon and Queen Victoria.

'Perhaps the most famous, however, is Queen Elizabeth the First, who is said to have actually _married_ the Doctor in 1562. He is mentioned in several secret diaries uncovered years and years after her death, and the two of them appear in a painting reportedly kept in a top-secret vault in the UK. One of the most interesting things recorded is that she supposedly met multiple Doctors at once, all with different faces and mannerisms.

'Although appearances of the Doctor are recorded throughout history, they became more common between the 1960s and the 1980s, as did reports of people disappearing almost completely from society and showing up later as his companions. This died down in the 90s, but since 2005 there has been an even steeper increase in reports of the Doctor, and, predictably, interest in who he really is. There is a subreddit dedicated to finding evidence of him in historical events, and numerous other websites with whole forums on similar topics.

'One of the most direct pieces of evidence is from a series of easter eggs left on DVDs featuring who almost exactly matches the man in the painting of the Doctor and Queen Elizabeth the First. The easter eggs appear to be one-sided conversations, in which the Doctor states that he is, in fact, the Doctor, says he’s a time traveller stuck in 1969, and asks someone for help. It also features a cameo from one of the Doctor’s known companions, Martha Jones, which brings us to the next topic of discussion – _companions_.'

'Companions is an interesting word.' Shane says, propping his chin up with his hand. 'Why companions?'

'It’s apparently the word the Doctor has used to describe them, and in the rare case that an ex-companion has spoken about their experiences with him, it’s the word they usually use.'

'Hm.'

'The whole companion thing is actually really interesting. There's barely any similarities or links between them, although they're mainly female, and mainly British. Some of them lead pretty good lives before him - Amelia Pond for example, was a model moving up the ranks of the UK fashion scene in 2011, but almost entirely dropped off the map after she and her husband, Rory, began being spotted with the Doctor. Some companions are said to go back to leading relatively normal lives afterwards, but some... some disappear, or die in mysterious circumstances, or get snatched up by government agencies.'

'Yikes.' Shane murmurs. 'Not exactly the kind of person you wanna hang around, I'd say.'

'Yeah, I'm thinking that too. But I mean, there's gotta be some good stuff. Like, there's a video of the Doctor carrying the Olympic torch at the London 2012 opening ceremony. So there has to be some attraction in whatever he shows them. Why else would they stick around?'

Shane raises an eyebrow. 'They could have been kidnapped. Forced to stick around.'

'Nahhh.' Ryan says, sounding rather unsure. 'Look, there's just so much stuff out there on this whole thing. I don't know why it's taken me so long to push for us to do an episode on it, I've seen mentions of the Doctor in conspiracy theories online for _years_. And there's definitely companions and other people out there who could tell us exactly what the hell is going on with all this, but I don't think they're going to. I don't know if we'll ever know anything for certain.'

Shane sighs. Ryan pushes on.

'With all that being said, let's get into the theories.

'The first and most popular theory, unsurprisingly, is that the Doctor is, in fact, an alien.'

_nope. nuh uh._

_(wheeze) I thought you believed in-_

_of course I believe in aliens! absolutely. we are not alone in the universe._

_but real aliens aren't going to look like humans, not even remotely. they'd either be bacteria or something completely out of our imagination and from trillions of light years away. no alien is gonna first of all – look like a human, second – actually like humanity, and third – spend a heap of time on planet earth, travelling with human companions –_

_how do you explain all this then?_

_I –_

_uhhhhhhh_

_(small wheeze)_

'The Doctor is said to be able to completely change his form when he dies, which would explain why descriptions of what he looks like are rarely the same. Recently, a disturbance in Sheffield, England has been attributed to the Doctor, but with a female appearance.

'Also interesting is the evidence that despite the time travel, the Doctor is in fact hundreds or thousands of years old. These two traits are often regarded as evidence of the alien theory - obviously on top of the time travel and general cryptid nature of this guy.'

'Could the Doctor just be some kind of shapeshifting cryptid? I mean... one of the mothman theories involved other dimensions and, uh, all that good stuff.'

'I mean... I guess? I've seen him referred to as a cryptid before, but he'd probably still technically be an alien? Like, I'm pretty sure none of these traits come from Earth. If they're legit, of course.'

'But then why come to Earth!' Shane exclaims, throwing his hands up. 'If you're from a planet with time travel and advanced technology and extended lifespans and probably access to the wider universe, why here? We're a bunch of assholes. Fighting all the time over dumb shit, poisoning our air, killing our planet - what's the attraction?'

'I have no clue.' Ryan says. 'But there must be something. I mean, even if most of them are fake, there's just _so many_ reports of alien activity. And a lot of them seem to coincide with Doctor sightings. All those London Christmas things especially - that giant star thing, the flying Titanic, the-'

'The flying Titanic? No. That one was a hoax. 100%.'

'That time all the stars went out?'

'When?'

'2008?'

'No? I have zero memory of that?'

'Yeah, me neither. Not really. The human mind is good at forgetting traumatic or unexplainable events. Or maybe the government is good at making us forget. Anyway.'

'You can't just _anyway_ that!'

_'Anyway_.' Ryan says, slightly more forcefully. 'Theory two is... well, less probable in my opinion.'

'Less probable than a... what was it? A hundred or thousand year old time travelling alien?'

Ryan wheezes. 'I- maybe? I don't... I don't know anymore. Anyway, the second theory is that the Doctor is an ex or rogue agent from a secret British government program that somehow managed to develop some variation of time travel.'

'Hmm.' Shane replies, looking unimpressed.

'It would explain the human appearance of the Doctor, the weird preference for Britain, and the odd relationship between the Doctor and the government.'

'Hmmmmmm.'

'There are actually a couple of secret government programs that I mentioned briefly earlier who appear to have a connection to-'

'If we know about them then how are they secret?' Shane interrupts, raising an eyebrow. Ryan sighs heavily, ignoring him.

'-the Doctor, such as the United Nations Intelligence Taskforce, or UNIT, and a smaller, lesser known group called Torchwood, which was supposedly begun by Queen Victoria in the 1870s. Both of them are apparently dedicated to monitoring, investigating and stopping any alien threats - though pretty much all the information we have on them is from unconfirmed and probably unreliable internet leaks.' Ryan pauses for a moment, and looks down at the file on the desk in front of him. 'Another version of this theory suggests that the Doctor is, in fact, from Earth in the future, where we have time travel.'

'Actually, that makes more sense.' Shane says, considering. 'But then again, why wouldn't we see more time travellers around?'

'Maybe they're all better at hiding.' Ryan replies. 'Or maybe we're all dead.'

They're both silent for a moment.

'Yeah, probably.' Shane says.

'The third theory is, uh, kinda disappointing.'

'Nah.'

Ryan raises his eyebrows, but continues. 'It suggests that the Doctor doesn’t exist, and is instead a complex and long running easter egg throughout history where people will edit in evidence of the Doctor.'

'Oh. Yeah, that’s kinda disappointing.'

Ryan wheezes. 'I told you! Anyway, my opinion on this theory is that it’s extremely unlikely. There’s just _so much_ evidence, most of which has been proved to be legitimate primary sources, and that’s a lot of work to go through for a… basically a meme.'

'Yeah. True.'

'I reckon he’s an alien.'

Shane makes a face. 'Hmmm.'

'That all you have to say? Again?'

'Yep.'

'Alrighty then.'

'Y’know, one of these days, we just gotta go and sit in a field and try and get abducted.'

'We- what? I don’t think that would- we can’t _ask_ them to beam us up!'

'I mean, why not?' Shane says. 'It might be the only way to prove whether aliens are real. Specifically the Doctor, but aliens in general.'

'I- you know what? Let’s do it.'

-

Shane grins, opens his camping chair and thunks it down on the grass just in front of their tent before practically throwing all 6 foot 4 of himself down into it. 'It's showtime, babyyy!'

Ryan raises his eyebrows, sets his chair down beside the taller man, sits, and they wait.

And wait.

And wait.

And wait.

Ryan turns on the smaller camera he has sitting on his lap and shows a 360 view of the field they’re in. The grass immediately around them is mowed short, but just beyond where the light they have set up behind the camera reaches, it’s long and untamed, hiding who knows what. The sky above is filled with the stars that they don't see from the hustle and bustle of LA, and the field is absolutely silent apart from the slight breeze blowing the grass, the cicadas going fuckin wild, and their own steady breathing. It's cool, enough so that Ryan pulls the drawstring on his hoodie a little tighter, but overall it's nice. Really nice.

'I'm starting to think this was a stupid idea.' Ryan murmurs after about forty minutes of silence, and Shane giggles, sending the pair of them off again.

'Y-yeah, no shit.' Shane manages to say between gulps of air. 'What did you think would happen? We sit our asses down and immediately the little green men beam us up and probe us?'

'I- no? No! Especially not the probing part! Excuse you, sir, but I do not wish to be probed on this fine evening!'

'Then do you wish to be probed... tomorrow evening? I'm sure we can persuade the bosses to let us stay out here another night-'

Ryan wacks him over the head with the first thing he manages to grab, which happens to be an extra BFU sweater he'd put under his chair in case. Shane splutters his indignity, and, naturally, Ryan figures this is the perfect moment for a merch plug.

'Oh yeah, this sexy thing?' He holds the sweater out at arm’s length. 'You can get it for 10% off at the BuzzFeed Unsolved merch store with the code S-H-A-N-E-S-U-X! Link is in the description! There's lots to choose from! Hurry! Offer ends the sixty-ninth of December!'

There's a bit more pushing and shoving and attempted sabotage of camping chairs before the two of them manage to settle down.

'Y'know, even if we don't get abducted, it's kinda nice just sitting in a lonely field in the middle of nowhere.' Ryan murmurs, breaking the silence again. The stars above shine.

'It is.' Shane agrees, turning to look at him. 'I miss getting out of the city to do stuff like this in my free time. Everything is just so busy now, I don't really have time.'

'Yeah, me too. I mean, I love getting out and about doing shoots for Unsolved, but we're always on such a tight schedule...' He trails off and glances at Shane. 'We should try and get out more, together. Maybe take some time off and just go on a big fuckin road trip. I think that'd be fun.'

'Yeah, it would be. Why don't we do that sometime?' He grins and then turns away from Ryan, pointing at the camera. 'Hey, you! Audience! Bee, Samantha, Jonathan, Susan, whatever your names are! Free range grass! Eugene! Z-'

'Don't start listing all the Try Guys, please.' Ryan groans. Shane ignores him.

'-ack! Ned! Keith! Everyone watching plus the Try Guys, because they probably aren't watching because they're busy being all cool and popular! Get your asses out of those office chairs and into the middle of an abandoned field! Eat some bugs! Reconnect with nature! It'll do you good, I swear. Shane Madej pinky promise.' He offers his pinky to the camera and winks.

'Hmm, no, I ain't shaking on that. You look kinda creepy. Like you'd take me out into that field and then feed me those bugs until I was completely stuffed full and died and-' Ryan pauses, looks around dramatically, and then turns back to Shane. 'Oh no. That's exactly what's gonna happen, isn't it. Good ol' Legs Madej, back at it again.'

The two of them make uncomfortable eye contact for a moment before bursting out laughing all over again.

'Look, in case everyone forgot,' Ryan begins when he finally regains his composure, 'we're not out here for nature therapy, or murder, we're out here to get abducted. So let’s both shut up for a while.'

They do. By the time their watches tick over to 12am, Ryan has put on the extra sweater, eaten a granola bar or two, and dozed off a few times.

Shane has gotten bored.

'I'm gonna go yell at the sky.' He announces out of the blue at 12:09am, standing up and cracking his back as he stretches.

'Good for you.' Ryan mutters, half asleep, and watches him.

'OY!' He yells, and the initial loudness of it startles both of them, but it's soon swallowed up by the vast openness of the night. 'YOU ALIEN FUCKS! COME AND PROBE MY DEAR PAL RYAN BERGARA!'

Ryan splutters in protest but looks amused all the same.

'ESPECIALLY YOU, DOCTOR! I'M NOT SURE IF YOU'RE INTO PROBING, BUT WHAT ISN'T THERE TO LOVE?' He pauses for a moment, and looks around at the sky, but no flying saucers or police public call boxes appear. 'YOU KNOW WHAT I REALLY WANNA KNOW? HM? WHAT ARE YOU A DOCTOR OF, EXACTLY?'

'Probing?' Ryan suggests.

'YES! PROBING! DOCTOR PROBE! ABDUCT US! STEAL US AWAY! ENLIGHTEN US!'

'You should do a dance, big guy.' He pulls his hood tighter around his face and takes a sip of hot cocoa from his thermos. 'Attract the aliens with your absurdly long, sexy legs.'

Shane takes this as a cue to pull his jeans up to his knees and give the potential aliens an eyeful of his pale calves. 'La Llorona didn’t take it so I’m making you a once in a lifetime offer! ALIENS! DOCTOR PROBE! DO YOU HEAR ME? A ONCE IN A LIFETIME OFFER OF A… A FRONT ROW TICKET TO THE SHANE MADEJ LEG SHOW!' He yells, doing a weird jig, his exposed legs shining white in the light from behind the camera. 'COME AND GET A PIECE!'

He dances for several minutes. Nothing happens. Ryan fetches another granola bar from the tent and eats it.

Shane returns to his seat eventually, face flushed from the exercise and the cold, and steals a sip of Ryan’s cocoa. The two of them sit in silence again, watching the stars and occasional cloud move slowly across the sky. Their elbows brush. The wind blows Ryan’s fringe into his eyes and Shane laughs at him. They try (and fail) to name constellations. Ryan finally gives in and he and Shane pass the thermos between them until the cocoa is all gone.

Ryan’s drifting off to sleep again, curled up in his chair, his mind peacefully blank of thought, when a sound disrupts him.

'Did you hear something?' He turns to Shane, eyes almost comically wide. He points his small camera skyward, the dark expanse above empty except for a few clouds, and then around at the deserted field they're sitting in.

'Nope.' Shane says, looking nonchalant, arms draped over the sides of his camping chair and long legs sprawled out in front of him.

'You sure?' He asks. 'Because I think I might have just heard-' he freezes 'oh shit, what the-'

It’s a sort of rustling noise, coming from his side of the field, accompanied by what sounds like heavy footsteps and muffled breathing. Shane must hear it too, because he perks up, shining his torch over to its source.

Eyes shine back. Dozens of them, among the grass.

Ryan screeches a completely unmanly screech and practically throws himself onto Shane’s lap, who catches him with an _oof_ and drops his torch.

The eyes disappear from their view and Shane leans over Ryan to try and grab the torch from underneath his chair. He scrabbles around for a moment before he reaches it, while Ryan stares out into the dark in horror.

'What the- what- what was that? Why were the so many eyes? What the hell was-'

'Woah, little guy, calm down. I have a theory about that.' He sweeps the torchlight over the grass. 'It’s just… cows. Lots of cows.'

The light hits the spot again, and Ryan can make out the dark shapes of maybe twenty cows huddled just beyond the edge of the long grass, staring at them.

'Holy _shit_.'

Shane grins at the man still huddled on his lap, and then proceeds to moo at the cows. Their ears flutter and they snort curiously. 'See? They’re just chillin.'

Ryan breaths out a deep sigh. 'They scared the crap outta me.' He finally seems to register his actions – that he’s currently gripping Shane’s jacket with his hands and y’know, sitting on him, and proceeds to go bright pink. 'Uh.'

'You good there, Scoobert Doobert?'

He checks his watch. 'You know what? I reckon it’s a good time to go pass out in the tent instead of these goddamn chairs. The cows aren’t gonna come and stampede us in the night, are they?'

'Uh, no, I don’t think they will. Sleep sounds good.'

Ryan slips off of Shane’s legs onto the ground, stretches, and takes one last look up at the starry sky. 'Final chance to abduct the mighty ghoul boys!'

The two of them wait in silence for a minute.

'Looks like your shrieking scared them off, Ry-guy.'

'Shut up, Shane.'

-

'So.' Ryan says, his hair sticking straight up in the air and his glasses lopsided. He's back in the camping chairs in front of their tent, Shane beside him. The taller man's hair is even wilder, if that's possible, and his eyes are half closed. Behind them, the sun has just risen and the sky is a beautiful pale blue.

'So?'

'So, we didn't get abducted. Not by the Doctor, or any other aliens.'

'We almost got abducted by cows.' Shane murmurs, and Ryan cracks up.

'A- almost. Not quite. Close call. Too close. Close enough to, uh, turn me into Scooby.'

The taller man snorts and then stretches his arms, yawning. 'No probing. Sadly.'

'The Doctor is gonna find you and kick your ass one day. For all these probing jokes.'

'Bring it on, baby.' Shane grins at Ryan.

'…Well. Although there are sure to be people out there who know the answers, for now, the mystery of the Doctor and the blue box will remain… _unsolved_.'

-

‘Do you think the Doctor will see this?’ Shane asks, leaning as far back in his camping chair as he can without it falling over. It sways dangerously. ‘Like do you think he- or she- is just sitting in the police box spaceship thing, watching theory videos? What if we anger him? What if we just put all of BuzzFeed in danger?’

Ryan rolls his eyes. ‘We haven’t been kidnapped by the mobs, or the FBI, or demons, not yet…’

‘ _Yet_.’ Shane points out. ‘I reckon-’

The chair finally falls backwards, legs collapsing under Shane’s weight. He ends up in a disgruntled pile of limbs and material on the grass, groaning.

Ryan just sits there and cackles.

* * *

'Nice.' Shane says, grinning, and closes the laptop.

'All done, you reckon?' Ryan asks him, running a hand through his hair. It's an absolute mess, sticking up at all angles, and there's enormous shadows under his eyes, but he's happy.

'Hell yeah, buddy. D'ya wanna come back to my place and eat popcorn and watch some dumb horror movies on Netflix?

'Fuck _yes_.'


	2. Chapter 2

It's months later, on a shoot for one of the new Watcher shows, that something actually does happen. The two of them are in goddamn London again, trying to find their way back to their hotel after a rather large Christmas dinner. The rest of the crew had headed back over an hour ago, but Ryan had wanted to stay and try a dessert, and Shane had wholeheartedly agreed with his decision.

It's late, and the streets are almost eerily quiet. Cars pass them and light spills from doorways and windows, but it still feels like just the two of them, breathing mist into the freezing cold air. Snow slush lines the pavement and the occasional tiny snowflake falls from the sky, stinging their exposed faces.

'You sure we were meant to turn down this street? I don't see the hotel, or literally any buildings I recognise-'

'Siri says we're going the right way! I don't know how else to find it, but if you've got any suggestions I'm willing to listen!'

Shane shuts up for a moment, and gets out his own phone. Ryan groans and zooms frantically in and out on Google maps, hoping to find at least one indication that they haven't been walking in the wrong direction for nearly half an hour.

'If we just-' Shane freezes, mid-sentence, and the two of them make eye contact. Ice floods Ryan's veins.

Because there it is. That noise. The wheezing, grating noise that accompanied every video, every shred of evidence, every catastrophe. The Doctor.

'Run!' Ryan manages to whisper, but it's too late, too late - and he doesn't know if he could run if he tried. His whole body is frozen, and his mind is screaming in the way it does when he's in a demon infested house, but magnified by a hundred times because _this is an alien, a real alien, about to appear in front of him-_

Something touches his hand lightly, and Ryan breaks his gaze away from the blue spaceship materialising in front of him, and down at where Shane's hand is brushing against his. He looks back up, sees the utter terror in the taller man's eyes, and grabs his hand tightly in his.

The blue box is standing solid before the two of them. Tall and oddly strong-looking, just like in the ancient carvings and wall paintings and that one household god carving from survivors of Pompeii-

The door creaks open.

And a woman peers out, blond hair falling in her bright, curious eyes.

'Ah! Spot on! Ryan Bergara and Shane Madej! Couldn’t believe it when I was featured on your show!' The woman grins brightly at the two of them. Ryan glances over at Shane, who stares back, eyes wide. 'I’m a big fan, absolutely _loved_ the Hotdaga!'

Neither of them speak. Ryan still feels frozen to the spot. Shane's hand squeezes his tighter.

'You alright there? She didn't activate a time-pausing force field, did she?' The woman, _the Doctor_ \- steps out the door fully and glances up at the box. 'You didn't, did you, old girl? I thought you lost that ability a couple of thousand years ago.'

'Y- you're the Doctor.' Ryan finally manages say, stepping slightly in front of Shane, who seems to be having a complete existential crisis and is in full shutdown mode.

Whatever happens, Ryan knows that he'll make sure Shane gets out of this safe. Whatever happens to him, he'll get Shane back-

'Yeah, that's me!' She bounds forward, and offers her hand for them to shake. He takes it, more out of shock than politeness, and so does Shane.

'You're... you're an alien. Aliens are real. You are one.'

'Yep!' She says. 'I had a few spare minutes, just dropped Yaz off to her friend's Christmas party, and Graham and Ryan - _not you_ , Ryan, other Ryan, he's taller - off at something or other they wanted to go to. Heard you were in London, thought I'd pop down from Sheffield and pay you a visit!'

'You have a time travelling space ship, which is right in front of us.'

'Yeah!' The Doctor says, grinning widely, and steps back to lay a hand on the blue wood. 'She's beautiful, isn't she? Her name's the TARDIS, stands for Time and Relative Dimensions in Space. Bit of a long name, but she’s wonderful.'

He doesn't reply, and neither does Shane, who's got a hand over his face, gripping his hair tightly and breathing shallowly. Ryan tears his gaze away from the TAR-whatever and instead squeezes Shane's hand in his own, bringing the other one up to the taller man's cheek.

'Hey.' He murmurs. 'It's okay. We're gonna be fine. You'll be okay, I'm gonna make sure of it, whatever happens-'

Shane finally pulls his hand away from his face, and buries it in Ryan's jacket. 'They're real. Aliens. Humanoid aliens. That titanic over London, the robot men, the, the- _time travel_. It's real, it's all real.' His eyes are wide and panicked. 'It doesn't make any sense. No sense. I've got to be dreaming, or, or-'

'Hey, big guy, breathe. Yeah, it's real. We'll have time for a massive existential crisis later, for now... you just have to breathe, and I'll figure out how to get us out of here. It’ll be alright.'

The Doctor watches them both, looking mildly concerned.

'Look,' she says, after a moment of silence, 'seeing is believing, right? So why don't I take you on a trip. Wherever you want to go. Space. The past. The future. An alien planet. Mars. The Moon. Alpha Centuri. The Medusa Cascade. Ha-'

'I don’t know- I – how do we know we can trust you?' Ryan asks. 'Wha-'

'Alright.' Shane speaks up, startling them both. His face is calm, all the questioning and doubts dumped in a box and locked up, to be revisited at a later date. He stands a bit straighter, a bit stronger, and moves around Ryan to face the Doctor. 'I want to see Earth. From space.'

'That's all?' She asks, an unreadable expression on her face.

'Yeah. That's all.' Shane pauses, then smiles. Ryan feels the tension drain from his body, and excitement take its place. The good old Shane Madej is back. '...For now, at least.'

A grin splits the Doctor's face, and grabs Ryan's free hand in hers. 'You good with that, Ryan?'

He glances up at Shane's bright eyes, and then back to the woman in from of him. 'Hell yes.'

She lets out a whoop and pulls the two of them after her, through the suddenly open door and inside -

And holy shit, Ryan's brain practically explodes.

The space inside the box is large. Fucking enormous. And absolutely gorgeous. Parts of it feel hyper-modern, spacey and shiny, but a lot of it feels organic, _living_. The ceiling is high and domed, decorated with kinda hexagonal patterns and lit up blue here and there. It reminds him, for a second, of the never-ending starry dome above them that night they'd camped in that field and yelled at the sky.

The Doctor skips over to what must be some sort of control panel, with an amber coloured crystal of some sort that bobs up and down in in time with the wheezing, groaning sound the box seems to emit. Hearing it, now, feels very different. It seems friendly, welcoming, utterly alien, but wondrous all the same.

'It's- I- ' He manages to say, still standing just inside the doorway, gripping Shane's hand. 'Holy shit! So that's how you have companions and don't squish each other to death!'

She looks pleasantly surprised. 'Of course! I've been in one of these police boxes without all this' she does jazz hands 'before, and trust me, it's squishy.'

'It's… bigger on the inside.' Shane breathes, and rushes forwards, pulling Ryan along behind him.

'Yup, there it is.' She laughs, and starts pointing out different things on the control panel to Shane, who lets go of Ryan's hand with a final reassuring squeeze.

Ryan is perfectly content with just gazing around at the inside of the ship. It's everything he'd always hoped aliens would be, and yet completely different. There are others out there in the universe, and Earth has made contact with them time and time again.

There’s a part of him that doesn’t want this. That wants to go back to staring up at the stars and not knowing. To be able to sit in his apartment and be content with where he is in the world.

And there’s another part, the one that’s taking over, that wants to explore. To see the stars and rescue planets and meet aliens and see the universe. He itches to get out a camera, to film, record, interview, to document this. Prove that it’s real. It’s all real.

'Right.' The Doctor pauses momentarily in her wild tapping of buttons and flicking of switches, and turns to the pair of them. Shane is following her movements warily but curiously, and steps back a little. 'Here we go. Hold onto your hats!'

She slams a level down. Ryan makes eye contact with Shane in confusion, but then the ship is wheezing and groaning and jolting into action around them. The unsteadiness is unexpected, and Ryan grips onto one of the crystal-looking columns for support.

The Doctor whirls around the console like a madwoman, moving as if on instinct, adjusting things here and there, moving this and that, munching on a biscuit (where did that come from?). It’s like a well-practised dance, and Ryan can imagine that she’s been doing it for a very, very long time.

Almost as suddenly as it begins, it’s all over. The ship stills, and the Doctor straightens up, adjusts her jacket, and beams at them. 'Right. We’re there.'

'We… we are?'

She heads towards the doors. 'Ryan, would ya like to do the honours?'

'Uh.' He says, and follows her over. 'Sure?'

'Just grab the handle, and open it. Nothing bad will happen to you, I promise.'

Shane raises an eyebrow at this, but smiles encouragingly all the same.

Ryan takes a deep breath, curls his fingers around the cool metal of the handles, and pulls both the doors inwards.

And holy shit.

He can see Earth. Floating amongst a backdrop of black space speckled with stars.

It's so _blue_. And small. Like a perfect miniature. A model. A marble.

He can see the swirls of clouds and storms, and the greens and browns of continents. Where it's darker he can see lights, a spider’s web of electricity across islands and mountains and plains and rivers and cities.

It's so beautiful. So damn beautiful.

There's a soft intake of breath from behind him as Shane moves into the doorway. Ryan tears his gaze away from the sight outside for a moment, and glances up at the taller man's expression.

And he's glad he does, so glad, because the taller man's face is filled with pure, unfiltered childlike wonder. It's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

Behind Shane, the Doctor watches the two of them with a proud tilt to her lips.

-

They stay there in the doorway, gazing down on planet Earth, for what must be over an hour. He and Shane end up sitting with their legs hanging over the edge and their feet dangling in empty space. It's dizzying, terrifying, and wonderful all at the same time. The Doctor makes them tea and brings out a tin of cookies to share.

And Ryan understands, and he can see that Shane does too. Why the companions had stayed. Why Amelia Pond had left her job for an unknown fate. Why in every video or photo, the companions always looked like they were having the time of their life.

He wouldn't mind this, travelling with the Doctor. But he has things to get back to - namely, sleep, in the immediate future at least - and all too soon it has to end. His eyelids begin to drift shut, which is precisely _not_ what you want to be happening while sitting just above the void of space, and he starts thinking about what they need to shoot tomorrow.

'We... we should probably head back to the hotel.' Ryan murmurs, covering a yawn. 'This is absolutely _incredible_ , but I am so, so worn out.'

'Same here.' Shane says, catching the yawn and giving Ryan an annoyed expression in return.

The Doctor nods in understanding. 'I get ya. I'll drop you back wherever you want, just after you left. Where should I land?'

'Oh, we were trying to find our way back to the hotel. Got a bit lost, thanks to this guy here.' Shane says, giving Ryan a cheeky grin and slinging an arm around his shoulders.

'If you want, I can drop you two lovebirds off back in your hotel room.'

'That would be- I- wait, we aren't together.' Ryan stares at her. 'We're not-'

'Oh. I always thought you were. Huh.' She looks almost disappointed for a moment, before perking up again. 'Oh! 2019! Right! Never mind. Ignore me. What's your hotel address and room number?'

He and Shane make eye contact. Shane's arm is still around his shoulders.

He doesn't remove it, and part of Ryan is extremely glad.

He rattles off the address, while his mind tries to work through what he'd just heard. Him. And Shane. Him and Shane. Together.

He does have to admit he's thought about it before, briefly. But they've always had other partners, the show, other things happening-

But now, he likes the thought of it. Him and Shane. There's no one holding them back, not now, and the show and everything just seems so much smaller, so much less important now, after all they've seen, after all this - the universe has expanded for the two of them.

'Alright! Hold on!'

The jerking and wheezing of the ship is less of a surprise this time, and the two of them only just stumble slightly. The Doctor spins and skips around the console, flicking things, moving things, pulling the lever down with a flourish.

'You good?' He asks Shane as the room shakes around them.

He smiles. 'Yeah. Right now, at least. I'm good.'

'This better not be a dream when I wake up tomorrow.'

'I really don't think it is. I don’t know if my mind could make up something like this.'

Ryan laughs a little, and Shane’s eyes crinkle happily. 'Same here. God, I don’t know- what are we gonna do now? Aliens are real, and we… we’ve been to _space_.'

'We do the same thing we always do, little guy. Investigate unsolved murders. Film ourselves doing dumb things in supposedly haunted places. I’m the sceptic, you’re the believer. Same as always.'

'…Everything the same?'

A small, relieved grin spreads across Shane’s lips. 'Well, maybe not everything…'

'Oy, you two.' The Doctor interrupts, striding past them to open the door. Through it, Ryan can see their hotel room, shadowy but familiar. 'Pretty sure I got the right place, should be the right day. And decade.'

Ryan takes one last look around the inside of the ship, and the pair of them follow her to the doorway again, and outside, back into a small, darkened hotel room in London, England, 2019. Outside the window, the snow has begun in earnest, turning the city into a Christmas card.

'Thank you.' He smiles at the Doctor, and she grins back, looking as bright and excited as she had been when they’d first seen her.

'No problem. Always wanted to meet the ghoul boys. Your show is hilarious, though you should probably be a bit more careful in some of those locations. I’ve met the entity residing in the Sally house, years ago – a nasty piece of work. Look,' she says, and pulls something metal and glowing amber out of a pocket, 'Hold out your phones a sec.' They do, and she points the thing at them. It makes an odd noise, and she looks pleased, dropping in back in her coat. 'Right. You’ll be able to get service anywhere now, and my number’s in them. If you ever find yourself in need of a hand, or just wanna, y’know, get away for a bit, feel free to call me.'

'Wait, really?'

'Yep. Now, I’d best be off, but I’ll see you boys again sometime. Maybe sooner than you think.' She winks, and goes to close the door. 'Oh, and Shane- you better continue the Hotdaga. It’s _art_. Also, you may or may not create a paradox if you don’t. And doom all of humanity.'

'I-' Shane stutters, eyes wide.

'Kidding. Well, maybe.'

'Uh, yeah. I’ll continue it. Right.'

'Merry Christmas, you two.' The Doctor says with a final smile and wave, and disappears back inside her ship. It makes the now familiar wheezing, grating noise, fading in and out, and then it’s just him and Shane standing there in the dark hotel room, together, while snow floats down outside the window.

Ryan reaches out, and takes Shane’s hand in his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked it, Bee, and anyone else who reads this.   
> i hope you've all had a good christmas/holidays, a good 2019, and good 2010s. as always, comments are greatly appreciated, and please point out if i've fucked up anywhere! it's a while since i've watched much doctor who (god, i really need to do a full re-watch of tennant - in case you couldn't tell, he's my all-time fav), but there's a new season starting after new years, and i love 13, so i can't wait to watch it.   
> hopefully i did both the ghoul bois and 13 justice in this  
> <3


End file.
